Elections, Privacy and Friendship

Elections, Privacy and Friendship

Oct 10, 2016

At one time there was room in both political parties for moderates. Incrementally, parties have moved away from moderation–a place where I have always considered myself to be politically. The degrees of social progressiveness, fiscal conservativism, or views on foreign policy have shifted for me over time, depending on my current understanding. It has been my experience that many people experience similar shifts. Many well-respected politicians have changed parties when their party no longer represented their values. I have known people who were, as business owners, politically conservative, but who, when they retired or changed professions, later became more liberal in their thinking. I’ve also seen self-described former “hippies” become conservative once they have established their own businesses and started their families. There are people who are socially progressive yet conservative in their foreign policy. There are also those who are socially conservative, yet lassez-faire when it comes to business. As best as I can, I accept that when my friend’s situation shifts, their political allegiances will naturally adjust. This comes down to my fundamental belief that most people are doing their best with what they have and with what they know. Shifts in political positions occur with shifting needs in life. Most importantly, when it comes to friends, I value our friendship, and I trust that whatever decision friends are making, it is the best decision for them based on their current understanding. My role is not to judge, but to understand. As referenced by Dale Carnegie in one of his writings, “God himself sir, does not propose to judge man/woman until the end of his/her days”--then why should I?

To me above all, it is most important to find common ground to find solutions towards common goals. This concept is key in establishing a community of common interests to improve our society’s quality of life. Public officials don’t represent just the people who voted them in but the interests of the whole country.

I also accept that not everyone sees things the same way that I do. I do hope that people place friendship over politics and accept me as I do them, though I have learned that not everyone approaches friendship the way I do. There are those on all sides of the political debate that publicly hurl insults at the opposing candidates and those supporting them. Though I respect their right to express themselves, I don’t agree with this “open” method of what is essentially coercion, as it creates an environment of demonizing the “other” person, making it easier to objectify them and project hate and violence in their direction. When, as a society, we deny each other our mutual humanity and the right to respectfully discuss our needs, our society runs the risk of losing legitimacy, authenticity, and influence. This lack of respect for each other, a trend that is well-represented by the two main political candidates, is a direct reflection of the collective individuals in our society. Rather than judging others in society with different views as being terrible and “at fault,” we need to look inside ourselves to decide what our own needs are and how we can work together as a society to best meet them.

The other thought that comes to mind is privacy in elections. Everyone seems to want to know how the next person plans to vote this election cycle. People try to either provoke a response, cajole a response, or manipulate a conversation in hopes of finding out more about each other’s voting positions. Some do this in a way that they try to control the narrative so that their point of view is preeminent before setting the stage for another to respond. This touches upon something that I am aware of upon reflection, and this is that I have a need for privacy, and I try to respect the privacy of those around me. I understand that not everyone values privacy in the same way, and that “free speech” has taken a new turn as it evolves in posts and replies on social media. But just as the polling booth is draped so no one can see me vote, my vote is my business. Although I respect people’s right to express themselves, the countless social media-driven (and sometimes face-to-face) attempts at influence fall flat with me. Moreover, the fact that a friendship could be used as a platform for political influence leaves me feeling confused about the friendship itself. I wouldn’t ask such questions of others, as I respect people’s privacy and I trust that their choice will be appropriate for their circumstances. Whether I choose to vote the same way or choose another path, the current popular method of coaxing a response while encouraging an outcome doesn’t meet my need for respect and privacy.

As is very clear, this election is not about being “right” or “wrong”; as with all of us, both candidates have their limitations. But I am mindful of the fact that an election is about more than how we vote. Even more importantly, this and all elections are about how we choose to treat, respect, and value each other throughout the election cycle. Do we choose to act from a place of fear (we are the home of the brave, are we not?) or from a place of trust and respect? This is what is most important to me. In this election, I choose friendship, trust, and respect.

Righteous Pie

Leave your righteousness at the door, Yes, you who suffered in priviledge, And he who never deserved, Both your silver spoons will tarnish soon, Asking in concert, "Who moved the cheese," "Frommage, if you will," "No dammit, I'm talking about my baked brie!" Whose was it really? Just eat it, then forget it.

There in the imagination, Is a field, Political indignation, Righteous self-admiration, Is the place ego will persist, Thrown into the iron cage, Two go in, one goes out! The other's lost humanity, Perdue, mon vieux, You thought you rubbed his face in it, But the book was still open, Where your nose was broken.

Fellow citizens, You came, you saw, you conquered -- what? The American Dream? The rebel becomes the emperor, Whose clothes are most fine, As the spots of the red, white and blue wine, Tie-die splotched the mind, Your fears realized, If you had only dreamed, Of beauty, trust, and love, We'd have all been on the freedom bus.